How can a third grade student who makes the Honor Roll also be in danger of being retained in third grade, instead of being promoted to the fourth grade?

The Florida Center for Reading Research really needs to answer that one ’cause my third child (who’s also in third grade) is in this really weird situation in which her grades are high enough to qualify her for the honor roll, yet she may be forced to repeat the third grade because she hasn’t yet met the passing criteria on something called Florida Assessments for Instruction in Reading (FAIR).

Apparently, this FAIR test is something the Florida Department of Education uses to determine whether or not third graders can read well enough to go onto fourth grade. And my kid, who just made the honor roll, has been unable to meet whatever criteria kids must meet in order to be promoted.

Now, I’m all for making sure kids know how to read before promoting them through grade after grade as, in my day, kids who were functionally illiterate could still qualify for a high school diploma. (Heck, I’ve even met a couple of MBAs who couldn’t write in whole sentences — I used to make $7 an hour correcting the grammar, spelling and punctuation in their sales reports.)

Fortunately, educational standards have been rising steadily since the mid-1970s, but now they’ve apparently become so high that even honor students can become “potential retainees.”

So, either the classroom standards are too low, or the FAIR test standards are too high — I cannot figure which.

Right now, it’s just a big WTF, but if my little mini girl is held back (after making the honor roll and demonstrating on several occasions that her reading and writing skills are above average for an eight year-old) there’s gonna be some hell to be paid by some poor, helpless school system bureaucrats whom I will torture with my special talent for talking and talking and talking until their will to adhere to stupid policies — and perhaps to even go on working in a position that requires them to do so — is utterly and completely obliterated.

Well, color me surprised! Five, count ‘em, five members of the party of “NO” actually said “Yes” to something.

Scott Brown (R-MA), Susan Collins (R-ME), Olympia Snowe (R-ME), Kit Bond (R-MO) and George Voinovich (R-OH), in a stunning spectacle of unimaginable bipartisanship voted to block a filibuster on a $15 billion jobs bill.

The relatively small, yet hardly insignificant, jobs package includes a Social Security tax break to encourage hiring, and allows small businesses to write off, instead of depreciating, purchases of large equipment. It will also replenish the Highway Trust Fund and expand the Build America Bonds program, which will help to create much-needed jobs.

On his blog, Mr. Brown writes, “This Senate jobs bill is not perfect. I wish the tax cuts were deeper and broader, but I voted for it because it contains measures that will help put people back to work.”

Wow, principles.

And what does Mr. Brown get for having them (at least on this one, possibly only, occasion)?

Blog flames galore — as of this writing, 27 pages worth of mostly negative comments — including accusations of dishonesty and demands for refunds of campaign contributions. Of course, there is also the usual name calling; “RINO,” “sellout,” and even “marxist.”

Maybe it’s just me, but I think Mr. Brown’s detractors might be overreacting just a bit as Mr. Brown only voted in favor of letting the jobs bill go to the Senate floor, and he may still vote “no” when it comes time to actually pass the jobs bill.

I’m sure everyone’s all shocked and shaken by my startling confession — NOT.

After all, who likes paying taxes?

Anybody? Anybody?

[chirp] [chirp] [chirp]

Didn’t think so.

Okay, next question. Who wants to defend the likes of Joe Stack, the whacko who posted his spittle-flecked anti-IRS, anti-government manifesto/suicide note on the Internet, set his house on fire, then crashed his plane into an Austin, Texas office building, killing himself and IRS Manager, Vernon Hunter?

Apparently lots of people who also hate paying taxes.

Of course, most have done so with the caveat that they did not agree with how this anarchist kook expressed his grievances against the IRS, but they’re nonetheless empathizing/sympathizing with the sentiments of a crackpot whose troubles with the IRS were of his own making, not because of some government policy — other than the one that deals with folks who don’t pay their taxes.

Now, I did sorta, kinda understand the nutjob’s daughter, Samantha Bell, saying she regards her father as a hero for his anti-government position, even though she considers his final actions to be “inappropriate” and “wrong,” as grief can do strange things to people sometimes — which is a good reason for grieving people to stay well away from the media.

But this woman, in a classic demonstration of how those proverbial acorns don’t land very far from the trees from which they fell, also said, “if nobody comes out and speaks up on behalf of injustice, then nothing will ever be accomplished,” as if there’s “injustice” in the IRS going after people who don’t pay their taxes.

“I do not agree with his last action with what he did,” she said, “But I do agree about the government.”

Well, what about the government? That it expects all the people to pay their fair share of taxes, whether they like it or not, and that it will go after those who believe that they are above the law and refuse to pay theirs?

Or has it got something to do with how railing against the government is especially fashionable these days?

‘Cause there’s lots and lots of people who’re pissed at the government about something or another that most can’t quite articulate.

Sure, the economy sucks and the Congress can’t seem to get anything done because it’s populated with Republican “party of ‘NO’” douche bags and Democrat weenies who’re all wetpants scared of ‘em.

But America has a government that is of, by and for the people, so we, the people, really have no one else to blame but ourselves, and our pride.

And what are these two “tough” issues? Believe it or not they are abortion and immigration — as if!

Now health care reform — or rather, health insurance reform — is supposed to extend coverage to tens of millions of Americans who do not have health insurance by requiring that almost everyone buy health insurance, while obliging businesses to cover their employees, and providing subsidies for lower-income people. It is also supposed to keep insurance companies from turning people away (or canceling their existing polices) due to their health status.

But now the House has to dither over the relatively minor issues of abortion and immigration.

The anti-abortion Democrats (yes, such creatures do exist) aren’t satisfied with the language regarding prohibitions against the federal funding of abortions. They say the stipulation that people will have to use their own money for abortions isn’t straightforward enough. Oh well, at least they don’t seem to be looking to outlaw abortion entirely, just a more solid declaration against use of federal funds for abortion.

They still cannot make up their minds about whether or not illegal immigrants would be allowed to buy insurance in some new purchasing exchange — whatever that’s supposed to be in its present incarnation. Regardless of rude Congressmen who shout “you lie” at the president, the White House doesn’t want illegals to have access to the exchange.

Of course, abortion and immigration, in and of themselves, are important issues, but they shouldn’t be holding up the larger issue of a very urgent need for insurance reform.

I’ve always wondered why I could never drive very well, even if I did learn how to drive safely after getting into several accidents. It’s in my genes:

No need to curse that bad driver weaving in and out of the lane in front of you — he cannot help it, U.S. researchers reported on Wednesday.

They found that people with a particular gene variant performed more than 20 percent worse on a driving test than people with a different DNA sequence.

The study may explain why there are so many bad drivers out there — about 30 percent of Americans have the variant, the team at the University of California Irvine found.

Now, I’ve not been tested as my health insurance probably won’t cover it — it’s all I can do to manage to pay the premiums (and forget those deductibles) — but this may be the reason for that five foot-long dent in the side of my truck…